SEND IN THE CLOWNS!
D’Oily won Premier Class to narrow the gap to Essex
TT in the championship, to just 5points with a dropped score, by
finishing just 2secs ahead. Bit of an oddball race, a mixture of
weather, and sloppiness contriving to turn the result on its head
in the last quarter of an hour. After many mistakes, spins and
penalties, usually of the cone variety, it was left Carpe Diem
(who else?) to come up with an original way of chucking a thirty
second and an open goal. Stu Symonds, “What can I say!!! We are
going to extreme lengths now in our quest to throw away certain
wins in as many different ways as possible!! The conditions were
very tricky; I’d opted to follow Jamie off the start, as I didn't
have significant extra pace to pull away from D’Oily if I'd passed
him. This paid dividends as we both pulled clear of the field.
After a shocking first pit stop put us behind, Phil steadily caught
Marc, before Marc hit a cone and came in for the penalty. This
left us with a 4 second lead over Essex. Phil made way for Brian
who was immediately gifted a 30 second lead when Kieran crashed
Essex. Though Jamie was steadily catching Brian, SuperBri was under
instructions to take it easy. After Brian’s splash and dash, I
stretched out to half minute ahead of D’Oily and the win appeared
to be in the bag when I came in to change back to Phil. However,
as we pushed Phil out from the back bowser, a team left the front
bowser cutting across our path. With the greater momentum Phil
assumed the other driver would lift as they approached the one
and a half kart width pit lane exit. He didn't and the pair collided
pushing the rear of our kart onto the last fence post, breaking
the rim, bursting the tyre and bending the axle.” It’s a shame
Phil didn’t just lift and let him have it, they had so much time
to burn, with D’Oily 30secs down, Essex at nearly a minute at the
time. Also typically there was no other team within a lap of this
triumvirate. With a 15min wait for repair, that ended their race,
Carpe Diem they also conceded it has ended any lingering aroma;
it had been fairly already, of championship challenge. They are
now 10th in championship. (They’ve even fallen behind Galliard.)
So this gifted D’Oily and Essex an opportunity to win, when ordinarily
a single mistake by any Prem team virtually guaranteed no pots,
and this pair had both made plenty. Jamie Jakins, “I’d qualified
2nd to Dan in Steel London. I started and got into the lead, managing
to get away a bit from Stuart in Carpe, although he then held me
at about 2 seconds as we both got away from the field until the
end of the stint. By this time we had got away a bit from the rest.
Marc went in and got the gap up to about 9secs, unfortunately he
hit a cone, on 30mins, though it took about 10mins to give him
a black flag. After our 30secs stop/go Carpe had it in the bag,
or so we thought.” D’Oily dropped out of a 7secs lead, through
what had been the race for 5th headed by D & G, joined by Billy
Whizzers, Steel London, and between them and The Good, The Bad & The
Ugly and Wolfie, who were running a further 10secs back, in 8th
and 9th, although much later on this pair overhaul everyone save
D’Oily and Essex to fight out the last podium step. But at 40mins
Craddock’s penalty had elevated Ben Yeomans to 2nd just 2secs off
new leader Phil Ingram, team mate Kieran McCullough stood waiting
to go in, “Ben had made a solid start, a good first fuel stop,
and had started to look increasingly quick, closing up on Phil
just before 2nd stop; it had the makings of another tight race
between the top 3. Then amateur hour started with Marc whacking
the chicane cone. This continued when I went in on stint 3, initially
I ought to have been on SuperBri’s bumper, but I threw it off on
the fast right around the back. If that wasn’t enough, I overdrove
trying compensate and copied MC's cone routine.” McCullough undoing
all of Yeomans’ hard work, his very worst had put Carpe Diem into
a 47secs lead ahead of (super sub) Dave Lewis, who’d taken over
KC Racing after two quick stints from Kevin Coombes, departing
for the Speedway, so McCullough was just behind in 3rd with D’Oily
for company in 4th. McCullough again, “As I’d driven like a complete
spanner, my first cock ups in a ‘live’ race in 2 years, I suitably
very embarrassed and was going to bail for Trevor to take it to
the finish. It was unbelievable that we were still top 3, it seemed
as though it was amateur hour all round.”
At half way, D’Oily had forced themselves back into 2nd from Lewis
and McCullough, GBU’s Chris Powell was the last kart on the lead
lap, 6secs off the chasing group, Powell, “It was the race that
nobody wanted to win. Chris Bell had started for us, and he’d been
hanging on to the lead group, but it all went wrong into the first
bus stop. Trying to pick up the pace, he said he’d been backing
it into chicane in qually, and succeeded in backing it all the
way round. That dropped us to the back of the pack, but we were
by no means the only team to spin out, we were joined by pole sitters
Steel London et al. Chris got it back to 11th, when I went into
double stint, I was happy with my speed as the rain had started
to fall again, and I handed over to Jay Elliott.” Just behind them,
but off the lead lap Wolfie were steadily recovering from Rob Hart’s
excellent start, but inevitable spin. Ditto Billy Whizzers, Rob
Carter was missing, Jordan Hill from Inters had been drafted in
to support John McMullen, Hill reported, “John had started the
race and kept it clean and tidy with an early fuel stop to get
out of the carnage and enjoy clear track. This paid dividends as
after the first round of pit stops we were up to 5th with some
more great driving from John. I came out after our second pit stop
in 12th, to sit comfortably in 5th again. A mistake by Sam Garford
(subbing for the absent Andy Hinder in Steel London), he came by
me making an ambitious move under yellow flags that wasn't picked
up by the marshals and ruined our race. He went inside me on the
far right-hander that would have pushed me into a parked kart,
my options were to hit the stationary kart or hit the barriers.
The barriers were my preferred choice, albeit one that could have
been avoided. In Sam's defence however, the yellow flag approaching
that bend was not being waved obviously at the time. A real shame!”
Garford’s team mate Dan Butler, “Bit of a calamity day out for
Steel, I got pole, and started us off”, Dan losing out off the
start to come through 4th at the end of lap 1, “Seeing as we'd
driven 4hrs to get there, I thought it'd be fun to give ourselves
an extra challenge, so I decided to perform a text book pirouette
in the 2nd chicane to drop us to the back of the field just 5 laps
in. As leader of the premier sprint championship going into the
round, Sam "super-sub" Garford felt that this was still
not enough of a challenge, or was he under strict orders from Jamie
Jakins, and proceeded to decimate two cones and have a go at beating
my 10/10 pirouette coming through the last chicane onto the back
straight. Lee "Total Cock" Clackett was, in fact, the
only Steel London driver able to keep the kart in a straight line
and has been all year... There's something very wrong about that...!”
Lee Clackett, “Cheers mate”.
Red Mist was leading the battle for Clubman honours in 9th, on
an early pit stop strategy, from RBB Economics, and Jenny Tools
a little further down the road. Red Mist had out qualified the
Clubman field, and would keep it clean to the finish. Perhaps because
of that, they finished 7th, half a minute ahead of Inters WBR,
who were probably wondering what all the fuss was about in Prems.
A to Z finished 3rd in Clubman class.
Deep into the last 30mins, Carpe Diem’s healthy lead was about
to disappear, leaving the battle between D’Oily and Trevor Randall
for Essex tight as always. Jay Elliott’s double stint for GBU had
included a quick spin out of the 2nd chicane, in spite of the presence
of a pusher kart, Wolfie had edged into a narrow advantage, slightly
further back Steel were dicing with KC over the minor places. Fellow
scribbler Steve Dart was preparing to anchor KC to the finish,
“Dave Lewis had put in a great first stint, when I took over my
pace was (to quote Russ Pittingale after the race) woeful! We’d
dropped back to 6th but at least I’d kept it on the island before
Dave moved us back to 5th place. Taking took over again for the
final stint I was not able to fend off the flying Dan who swept
past for 5th place with just 4 laps remaining. So, 6th place was
our reward. We managed an incident free race with no spins, no
penalties and no screw ups, save for hiring an ex-Club 100 champion
who didn’t look at all comfortable on a wet track!!” It pleased
Wolfie command, Tim Hill, “I was determined that the Lewis/Dart/Coombes
combo were simply not going to finish ahead at any cost, penalty,
bribe or assault charge. Dark Dave knew our secrets and would’ve
been off’d as a last resort. The coup de grace was once again the
old Wolfie One-Two of the last lap fuel stop; it was GBU’s turn
to feel miffed and confused, losing a sure third. It has to be
said the late spin by D’Oily was crucial, allowing us to be on
the lap ahead of ‘the Goodies’ when the chequered flag went out
and able to pit at our leisure. As ever I am ****ed if I know how
or why it works, but it does. Sort of cheating but legal.” But
for what finishing position?
It was a bit chaotic, Jamie Jakins again, “We started to claw
our way back and then Phil hit the pit wall and we were looking
good, although it was a bit hectic, Marc and I racing as a pair
and I couldn’t really tell what was happening!” Kieran McCullough,
“Not for the first time this season, Crap Name had been way out
in front in the race and found a new and inventive way to break
a kart! Although with Trevor on track it left to Ben and I to
the pit strategy, neither of us is very good with numbers, hence
our day jobs, and we thought we had a splash and dash to go but
the officials were insistent we'd done our 5 stops. As Ben & I
looked around for spare fingers to count, Trevor was madly signalling
to get in and out of the traffic. Eventually we decided that
we were right and that honesty and discretion were the better
part of a hollow victory and got him in. At precisely the same
moment of Jamie threw it off at the chicane, right onto the bumper
of the pusher kart so TR came in and started to bollock us for
our traffic management as we desperately tried to get him back
in the kart to race the stricken Jakins.” Jakins again, “The
rain was really coming down, I was following a pretty quick back
marker and couldn’t see a thing down the back straight and into
the main overtaking place, the hairpin. The boys were trying
to tell me what was happening but I couldn’t see them with all
the spray. I then hit standing water on the back straight and
spun! As I was turning the kart around Trevor came past me for
the lead. He pitted for what I’m told was a sixth time. As I
came over the line I saw Marc saying I was leading. At this point
I thought he hadn’t seen my spin so I really didn’t know what
to think. Figuring I wasn’t going to catch Trevor I backed right
off for the last lap, little realising Trevor was steaming up
behind me. I didn’t know if we won until after I got out the
kart in the paddock!” McCullough finally, “At which point the
great and the good of the club all lined up to tell us we were
numpties for being so honest, for making an extra stop, and that
they'd have played to the ref's whistle and won!” And Wolfie
sneaked back on to the lead lap for 3rd in Prems.
Fuck!
Contributors
Jamie Jakins
Kieran McCullough
Jordan Hill
Dan Butler
Tim Hill
Chris Bell
Stuart Symonds (the less successful brother of Geoff Symonds)
Steve Dart
Lee Clackett
Contributions needed for future rounds, (this wasn’t to bad,
to say my prams sans toys was near Birmingham when it finished)
to Bard on chris-simpson@ntlworld.com
